when you tell me about how you’re having fun, and it makes me feel kind of…jealous? I don’t know, to be honest it’s a feeling I haven’t yet identified, but it isn’t a good one. I have to tell myself that I’m glad you’re happy. It’s not like I even want you to be sad! I’d hate it if you were sad. Which is why this all feels so irrational and stupid. I love what we have. I hate that you’re so far away but I appreciate you nonetheless. But on the days you tell me that it rained constantly and you stayed in, or the days you say you’ve just been working and haven’t been doing much…those don’t make me sad. When you tell me that you’ve been spending time with friends and having fun and going to parties, I suppose I feel jealous of those people who get to be with you all the time. I wish I had that with you. Maybe it’s jealousy in the sense that if you’re having fun with your friends, then you’re not thinking about me. I don’t know…

Ultimately I love that you’re happy and that our lives don’t revolve around each other. That’s obviously a healthy sign and I wouldn’t want it any other way. So why do I feel like this? It’s silly and I’ll get over it. I suppose this must be a symptom of the LDR.